At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string 

Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma 

Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room 

In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure 

The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions 

You are always late to meetings 

You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling 

You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday 

You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie 

You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting 

You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines. 

You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. 

You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months 

You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects 

You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area 

You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance 

You have more friends on the Internet than in real life 

You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring 

You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep 

You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa) 

You window shop at Radio Shack 

You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite 

You know what the geosynchronous satellite function is 

Your checkbook always balances 

Your laptop computer costs more than your car 

Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work 

Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium 

You've already calculated how much you make per second 

You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio